I want to talk about something that pretty much everyone with a fatigue challenge experiences at some stage. So if it hasn’t already happened to you, I hope this will help you manage it more constructively when it does. And if you're experiencing it right now...well, this is perfect timing.
It's all about the pitfalls of experiencing 'Fatigue fatigue'.
That is, reaching the point where you’re tired and fed up with having to ‘do the helpful fatigue management things’ all of the blinkin’ time!
Getting yourself to a place where your fatigue is more manageable, and indeed starting to achieving improvements, is absolutely possible. But it doesn’t just happen. We MAKE it happen. And many people are surprised at quite how much effort they have to dedicate to carrying out their helpful blend of approaches every single day.
I often say that anyone who gets themselves into a considerably better place, let alone completely back to full health again, deserves a medal! We’re the unsung heroes. We have applied such grit and determination and positivity – often for months or years. Dragging ourselves through the ‘less good’ days, and stopping ourselves from giddily getting carried away on the great days. It’s never ending.
And, sooner or later, it can get a bit much. Quite frankly, we just get fed up with it all.
I don’t mean with our health condition – we’ve probably been fed up with that for quite a while by that point. I mean with the continued daily effort we have to apply in order to ensure the day goes as well as it can.
I saw a recent example of this in a client who came back for help a few months after we'd concluded our coaching sessions – let’s call him Andrew. Andrew had been doing really well and was very motivated to go off and do all of the helpful things that I’d guided him towards during our time together. Like many, when we first met he was so happy to be introduced to approaches and practices that were making him feel a little better. And in the early stages that was all he needed to keep him motivated…the excitement that these things were actually helping! After months and months of feeling lost and bewildered.
But those early improvements can start to slow down, and this had happened to Andrew. A lot of the things that I’d introduced him to were those vital basics that I talk so much about (energy management, resting correctly, mindset management etc). Effectively these were low hanging fruit areas for him to address, and he was one of the lucky ones who felt the improvements kick in fairly quickly. Indeed, I tend to suspect that these aren’t 'improvements' as such. They’re just a lovely sign of someone coping a little better with their daily health challenges and feeling better as a result. But keep at those things, and the improvements usually start to follow.
Anyway, Andrew was a few months down the line and had definitely lost the initial spark of excitement that was keeping him motivated to his daily approaches. In fact, quite frankly, he was starting to almost resent them rather than be excited about them. He was tired and fed up of the sheer effort required every day to ‘do the right things’. Waking up every day having to find the discipline and motivation to do a whole bunch of helpful things that would help in the long-run, but might not actually make a whole heap of difference to the day itself.
He had Fatigue fatigue.
But it only took an hour with me to get him back on track and send him off feeling suitably fired up again! First, I reminded him about the achievements he’d made – I could clearly see there had been several since we’d last met up, whereas to him they'd been less obvious. I also suggested a few other things to him – which I’d love to pass on to you too:
Take some reassurance that this happens to us all at some stage! Don’t pressure yourself to snap out of it. It’s ok to feel a little fed up with it all occasionally. Just don’t let it last. And take time to recognise the improvements you’ve made so far – whatever their size. It’s easy to be drawn more to the size of the gap that still exists between where you are and where you want to get back to. But please take time to recognise how much the gap has already closed – and that these helpful disciplined daily approaches are what has got you here.
Recognise that it’s impossible to perfect your fatigue rescue plan. Many of the people I help who experience Fatigue fatigue are those who have been trying to overly-perfect their approaches. If this is you, please recognise that the most important things are being consistent with whatever you’re doing. Perhaps do a mini-audit of everything you’re supposed to be giving daily attention to. As our journeys continue, we tend to gather more and more helpful suggestions as to what might help. And we can end up layering these on top of the things we were already doing. No wonder we get exhausted! List out everything you’re currently trying to do, and circle the things that you know are the absolute non-negotiables. And perhaps decide to stick to this pared-down list of things for a little while, knowing that you’re getting the basics covered but also removing some of the daily effort you were feeling.
Change things up a bit! It’s easy to get a bit fed up if we’ve been doing the same things in the same way for a long period of time. Think about switching things up a little. If you do a meditation every day, pick a new instructor. If you like to make time for some alternative therapies every week or two, why not pick a new one to try? If you’re being diligent about eating a healthy breakfast, good for you! But perhaps think about having a different one each morning for a week?
Try something new. I know we’re talking about feeling tired of doing all of your existing things every day, but sometimes that can be down to it all feeling a bit overly-routine, rather than because of the amount of things you’re doing. If that’s the case (or you’ve stripped some things out as a result of my previous suggestion!) why not add something new in? There’s nothing like getting interested in a new helpful area to give us something to focus on and get us feeling excited again. But choose wisely! It’s a bit of a minefield out there and it can feel a bit bewildering to know what’s right for you. Perhaps find some inspirational improvement/recovery stories that give you ideas about themes and areas that you can look into incorporating. I'm very aware that we all have different tolerances for screen exposure and reading etc so here are three different ways to access this sort of content: 📺 Watching: Raelan Agle’s YouTube channel is such a great source of inspiration and help 📖 Reading: Heal with Liz has got some brilliant content on her website 🎧 Listening: Jackie’s amazing PodCast channel is a great collection of helpful recordings (it has ‘long covid’ in the title, but the content and topics covered are relevant to most fatigue-related health challenges)
5. Finally, while we’re on the topic of new things – if finances permit, why not treat yourself to something new that could make things feel different enough. For example:
👌🏼 New plates/crockery to make mealtimes feel more interesting
👌🏼 New yoga pants/PJ’s to make it a bit more appealing to get up and dressed in the morning
👌🏼 New duvet/cushion covers to make you feel more excited to go to bed at your sensible time
'Fatigue fatigue' is a thing. It’s a part of pretty much everyone’s journey – but I hope this article has shown you that you’re not alone in experiencing it, and that there are things you can do to manage it. If you’ve got any questions or other suggestions to share, please do comment below! I’d love to hear from you ✨
Take care,
Pamela
P.S. If you're yet to find that lovely exciting stage where you realise things are helping you to feel better, my courses and on-demand webinars might well help! Please use code 'AUGUST10' to get 10% off them all during August 2024.
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